Inside Cover Co

What to get a reader who already has every book

The annual problem

Every December somebody decides that the reader in their life would like a book. It is a reasonable conclusion and it is usually wrong.

Not because the thought is bad. Because of what actually happens when a reader unwraps a book from someone who is not a reader.

The three-second problem

They have to decide, instantly and with you watching, whether they have already read it. If they have, they have to decide whether to say so. If they have not, they have to produce enough enthusiasm to cover the fact that they can see from the cover whether they are going to like it.

Readers are good at this. They have had practice. But it is work, and it is happening at the exact moment you were hoping for delight.

This is the entire reason "gift receipt" has become a small annual joke among people who read.

What they actually want

Ask any reader and the answer is depressingly consistent, and it is never a book.

It is an uninterrupted afternoon. A chair, a fire if there is one, and a stretch of hours nobody has a claim on. That is the thing. Everything else is a proxy for it.

So the gifts that land are the ones that equip the afternoon rather than dictate what happens in it. Something to drink out of. Something warm. Something that says I know what you are like without choosing the book for them.

And the one that always works

A reference they will get.

Readers are, at heart, people who enjoy being recognized. A thing that quotes the right book at them — not the famous line, the one you only know if you finished it — is better than almost any actual book, because it says you were paying attention to what they love rather than trying to add to it.

That is a much rarer gift than a hardback.

What to avoid

Bookmarks. Readers have forty. They use receipts, envelopes, and once, memorably, a slice of cheese. The bookmark is the scented candle of the literary world and everyone is too polite to say so.

Questions people ask

Should I buy a book for someone who reads a lot?
Usually not, unless you read the same things. A serious reader has to work out in three seconds whether they have already read it, while you watch. The thought is good; the moment is awkward.

What do readers actually want for Christmas?
Almost universally: an uninterrupted afternoon. A chair, warmth, and hours nobody has a claim on. The best gifts equip that rather than choosing what happens in it.

Why do readers not want bookmarks?
They already have dozens and tend to use whatever is nearest — a receipt, an envelope. It is the most-given and least-used gift in the category.